[Poetry] Day 21

It’s already been three weeks, but I swear I can still feel you kicking inside me. The doctor said writing in a journal would help, but it doesn’t. It doesn’t help knowing my own body rejected you. 

The doctor said it was a tragic accident, but there are no accidents. The doctor said time would make it easier, but that’s a lie too.

Some nights, I swear my arms are wrapped around your little body and I can just reach out to caress your cheek or brush a curl out of your face. Always, I wake up in the middle of the night and feel the emptiness flooding back. Some mornings, I feel your presence around me, only to turn and feel the stillness of the room mocking me.

I wanted you so much, but I wasn’t strong enough. I wasn’t strong enough to take care of you and bring you into this world, and now…now I don’t know if I’m strong enough to keep missing you.

© Jade M. Wong 

I was inspired by dVerse’s prompt today to revise a piece I’d written in the past. Initially, “touch” made me think of romance and wanting to touch the one you love, but that train of thought eventually led me to ask, “what if you wanted to touch someone who wasn’t there?” How would that sort of touch feel like? 

46 thoughts on “[Poetry] Day 21

    • Oh no I’m so sorry to hear you can relate to this story…this is such a tragic event in a mother’s life. I hope you are happy and doing well, Mary 💜

      Thank you so much for reading and commenting.


  1. I don’t know if this is your experience, Jade, but you get it just right with the emptiness and the guilt. There’s no point in people saying ‘it isn’t your fault’; the guilt is illogical so it doesn’t listen to logic.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Aww thank you so much for your kind thoughts, Jane! This story is purely fictional and not anything I’ve experienced, but I’m so touched to read that you felt the story conveys the emotions just right. I agree, with many situations, most people try to comfort by saying “it isn’t your fault”, but those words tend to fall on deaf ears and hearts 😦


    • Yes, the fantasy and feeling of wanting to touch someone who isn’t there is definitely an emotional and intense one. Thank you for reading and commenting Glenn! I’m glad you enjoyed the ride, albeit a sad one lol.


  2. This is excellent and so very sad… this is such a hard blow to people, and I have understood it’s more common that I ever thought, but that does not make it less hard to bear… I know that it will often work well the next time… my sister in law had a failure before she got the first of her three children.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Björn. Yes, miscarriage tends to be quite common (although I’ve never personally experienced it myself), but I wish more people spoke about it because it would help everyone to know they’re not alone. I’m happy to hear your sister-in-law has a full family! ^_^


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